The Search for Trouble: A Husband’s Guide to Browser Survival

Because deleting your history is easier than explaining it.

Chapter 1: A Click Too Far

Meet Bob. Bob is a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, an affinity for dad jokes, and one fatal flaw: he thinks incognito mode is foolproof. One day, while researching “how to assemble IKEA furniture without crying,” he accidentally clicked on an article titled “Top 10 Alien Love Stories: Rated PG-13.”

Question: Why do these articles exist? More importantly, why do they always appear when someone else is watching?

Caption: “IKEA: turning marriages into escape rooms since 1943.”

Chapter 2: The Wife Awakens

Enter Linda, Bob’s wife, who walks into the room with the precision of a spy but the wrath of a Jedi. She peers over his shoulder just as he’s frantically closing tabs, making her question every decision she’s ever made, including saying “I do.”

“Bob,” she says with a raised eyebrow. “Why does your browser say ‘10 Signs Your Cat Is Plotting Against You’?”

Bob stammers, “Research. For...uh, world peace?”

Question: Is there a graceful way to explain “Top 5 Ninja Turtles Ranked by Pizza Preference” to your spouse? (Spoiler: There is not.)