Thank God Cobras Can't Fly: A Wingless Tale of Terror and Gratitude

Because the only thing worse than a snake is one with an airline ticket.

Chapter 1: When Snakes Dreamed of Flight

Once upon a highly questionable timeline, deep in the jungles of Why Did Nature Do This, a council of cobras gathered under the Great Banyan Tree. Their leader, Sir Slithers McVenom, hissed passionately, “We deserve wings! If birds can soar, why can’t we?”

The crowd erupted in unified hissing, their tails rattling like a badly-tuned tambourine.
“But who will stop us if we take to the skies?” asked a young cobra named Nigel, clearly the only sensible one in the room.
Sir Slithers sneered. “Humans are already scared of us on the ground. Imagine the chaos when we divebomb their picnics!”

Question: What’s worse—a cobra in the grass or one circling your BBQ like a vengeful turkey?

Caption: "Sir Slithers’ motto: Why slither when you can terrify?"

Chapter 2: God Takes the Wheel (and the Wings)

Meanwhile, in the celestial break room, God was on His third cup of coffee when the angels delivered the latest request. “The cobras want wings,” Gabriel said, barely stifling a laugh.
God raised an eyebrow. “Wings? On cobras? Haven’t…