Because who doesn’t want to gamble with chocolate for immortality?
It was a regular Tuesday when Spud, a man whose name did little to inspire greatness, was presented with a decision that would make even the bravest tremble in their boots—or at least reconsider their snack choices.
A mysterious figure appeared out of nowhere. And by "nowhere," I mean Spud’s bathroom while he was brushing his teeth. The figure wore a cloak made entirely of tinfoil (for reasons best left unexplained) and held a glass jar filled with 100 M&Ms. These were no ordinary M&Ms, though. These little candies had an offer so absurd, it would make a cucumber in a business suit look completely normal.
Caption: When life gives you chocolate, make existential decisions.
The Offer of a Lifetime (Literally)
The figure spoke in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Morgan Freeman’s on a helium balloon:
"Spud, within this jar are 100 magic M&Ms. Now, 70 of them will drop you dead faster than a microwave burrito. But the other 30... ah, the other 30 will grant you a perfectly healthy body, mind, and soul. You’ll live for 200 years and get a million dollars added to your bank account every single year. So, what’ll it be?"
