Ladder to the Moon: How One Man Tried to Fix the Universe with Duct Tape

Because when life gives you phases, you phase them out.

Chapter 1: Phase Me Not

Meet Eugene. Eugene had one problem: he couldn’t stand the moon’s phases. “Why,” he asked, “does it keep playing peekaboo with the sky? Be whole or be gone!” Eugene, a proud owner of Logic-Proof Overalls™, decided it was his duty to fix it.

His neighbor, Mrs. Crumpet, tried to intervene. “Eugene, it’s the MOON. You can’t just fix it.” But Eugene, a man of sheer determination and slightly below-average common sense, replied, “Can’t I, Mrs. Crumpet? Can’t I?”

Caption: "Every great idea starts with ‘Can’t I?’ and ends with ‘Shouldn’t have.’"

Question: What would YOU fix if ladders were free and consequences didn’t exist?

Chapter 2: A Ladder Too Far

Eugene procured the tallest ladder in town, which was 20 feet shorter than the nearest cloud. “It’s fine,” he thought. “I’ll just stack it on my uncle’s trampoline.”

As he climbed the wobbling contraption, he shouted to the sky, “MOON! PREPARE TO BE REPAIRED!” The moon, unsurprisingly, said nothing. But a passing pigeon nodded in approval. Eugene took that as a sign.