How Does the Newspaper Always Fit? (Spoiler: It’s Sorcery... or Maybe Not)

Because fitting the world’s chaos into one tidy newspaper might be the most underrated magic trick ever.

Picture this: You’re sipping your morning coffee, casually flipping through the newspaper (yes, people still do that!), and it hits you. Every single day, there’s just enough news to fill the entire thing—no more, no less. It’s like the universe conspires to make sure the headlines and the horoscope share the perfect amount of space, like they were in on some secret pact.

Jerry Seinfeld was onto something when he said, “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” And it’s true! With all the chaos, cat videos, and unexpected memes floating around the internet, it’s a wonder how newsrooms keep the madness in check—fitting it all perfectly into those pristine columns.

Hilarious Caption: Breaking News: World agrees to only generate enough drama to fill exactly 12 pages of newsprint.

Fun Fact: The first modern newspaper, The Relation, was published in 1605 in Germany. And even back then, the world somehow generated enough news to fill its pages. Coincidence? I think not.

But let’s backtrack a little. What if one day there was simply too much news…